I had a BPD mother who was literally insane. Grew up in a hippie apocalyptic sex cult, etc etc, but it just gave me more ambition to create a stable, kind life for myself that I didn’t have growing up. I’m 40.
I just can’t see eye to eye with the levels of entitlement and ignorance of those half my age.
Some of my happiest memories are walking back and forth from school. Without a device. I should do that more often--being alone in your head is priceless, but there's always the temptation to multitask. "I could walk and relax AND learn about Bloody Mary from a gory podcast! Relaxing!"
You have to thread the needle between too much childhood suffering and too little… we don’t have experience with the latter. Nor do we have much experience with old age. As a species we’ve still got a lot of new shit to wade out into.
I was mowing lawns in my dad's business at 12 to pay for stuff I wanted. I went through all sorts of dumb phases but thankfully reality kept me grounded. Not everybody is going to 'like' me.
Growing a thicker skin through the abrasiveness of life is essential to becoming a functional adult that can handle people and both positive and negative experiences.
Lately I've been feeling relieved that most of my post-adolescent stupidity is hidden from posterity. I had to physically move to a city and wait tables till I got a job proofreading and finally writing at a newspaper before anyone heard a damn word I had to say.
And I still had to wotk my way up... you're too young for us to promote you, just keep working...and working...
Then the minute I turned 30, we had to be kicked out of the industry for the "digital natives." And now I shouldn't be listened to because I'm middle-aged thus "privileged." And I'm gleefully apathetic, because I hadn't noticed quite how long it was getting, that line for those who need to be silent save the sound of kissing my ass.
Part of the problem is how Gen X -- us -- parented their kids. I was a latchkey kid myself, home alone with my sister most of the day after school, with divorced parents, and while I understand they were out working hard to make sure we still had a home, I think a lot of us decided we weren't going to put our kids through the same thing. So we coddled them and sheltered them and protected them from the alleged traumas we went through having to learn to fend for ourselves when we were under 10 years old. "It's 10pm -- do you know where your children are?" Seriously, that's a meme now, but back in the day? Boomers were in a lot of cases too busy booming to pay attention to us. I think it hurt deep down. Thus, we have tried to correct. And now we have crying on TikTok, among other disappointments. Until GenX admits we screwed up (we won't; we're too busy still pretending we're The Breakfast Club) I don't think we'll see much of a resolution.
I went so far in the "not going to make my kid suffer" direction that I didn't have any--I didn't trust myself to be a parent because I had no idea how people did it without using the child as an emotional punching bag; perhaps should have trusted myself more but hey, at least I'm not in prison for letting my 12-year-old walk to school alone.
You had me after the first paragraph. I’m not an actor I can’t make myself cry, just to look good in front of a camera. Tears come out of nowhere sometimes & they appeared just as I was looking at the title of the post
Fresh air. :)
Thank you! The collage is my very own work.
I had a BPD mother who was literally insane. Grew up in a hippie apocalyptic sex cult, etc etc, but it just gave me more ambition to create a stable, kind life for myself that I didn’t have growing up. I’m 40.
I just can’t see eye to eye with the levels of entitlement and ignorance of those half my age.
I make my kid walk too and from school and crush him with work.
But hes never known anything else . So hes happy.
Im happy for all the stress and hard raising... as I gave me tons of stuff to write about :)
Some of my happiest memories are walking back and forth from school. Without a device. I should do that more often--being alone in your head is priceless, but there's always the temptation to multitask. "I could walk and relax AND learn about Bloody Mary from a gory podcast! Relaxing!"
Excited to read this one. This generation of ipad kids concerns me.
You have to thread the needle between too much childhood suffering and too little… we don’t have experience with the latter. Nor do we have much experience with old age. As a species we’ve still got a lot of new shit to wade out into.
I was mowing lawns in my dad's business at 12 to pay for stuff I wanted. I went through all sorts of dumb phases but thankfully reality kept me grounded. Not everybody is going to 'like' me.
Growing a thicker skin through the abrasiveness of life is essential to becoming a functional adult that can handle people and both positive and negative experiences.
Lately I've been feeling relieved that most of my post-adolescent stupidity is hidden from posterity. I had to physically move to a city and wait tables till I got a job proofreading and finally writing at a newspaper before anyone heard a damn word I had to say.
And I still had to wotk my way up... you're too young for us to promote you, just keep working...and working...
Then the minute I turned 30, we had to be kicked out of the industry for the "digital natives." And now I shouldn't be listened to because I'm middle-aged thus "privileged." And I'm gleefully apathetic, because I hadn't noticed quite how long it was getting, that line for those who need to be silent save the sound of kissing my ass.
Part of the problem is how Gen X -- us -- parented their kids. I was a latchkey kid myself, home alone with my sister most of the day after school, with divorced parents, and while I understand they were out working hard to make sure we still had a home, I think a lot of us decided we weren't going to put our kids through the same thing. So we coddled them and sheltered them and protected them from the alleged traumas we went through having to learn to fend for ourselves when we were under 10 years old. "It's 10pm -- do you know where your children are?" Seriously, that's a meme now, but back in the day? Boomers were in a lot of cases too busy booming to pay attention to us. I think it hurt deep down. Thus, we have tried to correct. And now we have crying on TikTok, among other disappointments. Until GenX admits we screwed up (we won't; we're too busy still pretending we're The Breakfast Club) I don't think we'll see much of a resolution.
I went so far in the "not going to make my kid suffer" direction that I didn't have any--I didn't trust myself to be a parent because I had no idea how people did it without using the child as an emotional punching bag; perhaps should have trusted myself more but hey, at least I'm not in prison for letting my 12-year-old walk to school alone.
You had me after the first paragraph. I’m not an actor I can’t make myself cry, just to look good in front of a camera. Tears come out of nowhere sometimes & they appeared just as I was looking at the title of the post
Awww, Bob.
Some people say that, on the Internet, we find exactly what we are looking for, even if we don't realize it. Somehow or other, here we are, you and I.
hee
(thank ye!!)