I Was Wrong About the Unhealthy Left

We don't have an extremely unhealthy left wing. We have... three or four wrong-thumb wings drawn on by AI.

You thought Project 2025 was kicking over the board? Project 2030, the so-called Democrats’ apparent new pet project, is going to be a primeval nightmare, I think. Even worse than what they say Project 2025 will be like. Kinda like one of those giant-foot magnapinna murder squid they found lurking in the depths of the ocean is probably going to be even worse, even if you can’t quite see what was coming for you in the first place.

Behold, the magnapinna squid

If you know me, you know my main political opinion is that I don’t want a one-party state. (Well, and I am bored as fuck of everyone including me writing about politics, like it’s our water cooler gossip instead of what Tyler and Bille did in the broom closet.) But we swing from one one-party state to the other every four to eight years. CHARMing.

It seems to be starting now, whatever this Project is, exactly, and it’s starting with a really strange line item in the list of horrific murdery presidential pardons that whoever is Weekend at Bernie-ing the “President” of the “United States” around all over the place shat out this week.

On top of “A county commissioner who was convicted of taking nearly half a million dollars’ worth of bribes, including a stone-fired pizza oven; a tax attorney wrapped up in the “biggest tax fraud prosecution ever”; and the owner of a Detroit-area Medicare billing company who orchestrated a $26 million Medicare fraud,” according to NBC; according to well-meaning but dumb hippy Russell Brand, Joe Biden is even pardoning… Pfizer?!

Or at least holding off on their hold-accountability until 2029. What the eff?

Had to ask Grok for a professional-looking image to supplement the real one, because professional is better than real

A lot of commentators interpret this as an attempt to hamstring the Trump administration and its stated aims of cutting out the rot. They seem to have forgotten that it was actually Donald Trump who gave the pharma companies free rein and a seemingly unlimited budget, or at least Russell Brand ( he recently did a bit where he implied it was Biden who set up the Pfizer link to COVID, then gave them indemnity) has. And I have long been puzzled by the fact that the controversial COVID vaccines were in historical fact Trump’s baby—but everyone forgot that five minutes after the 2020 election. Well, I guess it didn’t help that the new President Biden was quick to pretend or mis-remember that HE did it, and soon enough that’s what everyone believed, apparently including Brand. Thus, it was Trump’s enemies who wound up shoving Trump’s vaccine down everyone’s throats, and Trump’s friends who closed their mouths to it like a five-year-old dodging a particularly cancerous broccoli stalk. Did you guys SERIOUSLY forget who did what?

You almost can’t blame people, with all the shit and lies flying constantly, which brings me to my point: Why are we so divided along right-left lines when it’s increasingly hard to tell which is which, or whether those words mean anything?

As stated in my previous article, which incidentally happens to be one of the best essays I’ve ever written, I think the emerging science is intuitive enough: It is natural for a democracy to fall into two wings, based on two possible human orientations towards the future: whether you tend to assume that new solutions are the best way forward, or whether you are more cautious of throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

I think both are absolutely essential to civilization, and both are mistakes on their own. But when one or both is unhealthy, they have more and more difficulty working together, which we call polarization.

In this decade a whole host of forces—although I’m tempted to blame the Internet for everything lately, because I find it so dehumanizing, noisy, and stupid (ie annoying as fuck, an endless source of retardation and boredom, which are both more aggressive than the admittedly several gems it eructs)—have left us more and more polarized.

Dramatically polarized, raucously polarized… We’e so noisy about our civics, you would think we were a brilliant civilization, headed for the stars. But those are mere feels. Do people really think about this shit any more deeply than “I want to win this argument, get attention online from it, and I want my team to win?”

I mean, those three thoughts and all the plotting, scheming, and obsession that can spring from them seem to be capable of taking up about 97 percent of most people’s CPUs, outside of brain stem functions. Breathe, eat, pwn the magats. Sleep, drink, make the libtards cry. It is totally possible to think about politics all fucking day, think you’re some kind of genius about it because you think you win every argument simply because you refuse to stop talking, and know absolutely nothing, even about the very ideology to which you have apparently pledged your entire intellectual “life.”

But in looking out over this increasingly stupid AND increasingly noisy vale of tards, I said a mistake.

I might not have said it out loud, actually; I might have muttered it. But I have definitely been thinking that while we need two healthy wings to fly this plane, and while the right wing ain’t perfect, the left wing has been looking shot full of dipshit holes lately.

The DNC won’t let its own candidates have a fair primary. I think the last real Democrat primary might have been… Obama’s? Shit. Then there were the woke crazies, cutting up trans people like they’re a lobotomy experiment from the 1950s, decimating the American working class through mass migration, helping out the globalists and warmongers at every turn—and don’t forget last decade’s greatest hit, when they used Mitt Romney’s inspiration to turn our healthcare system from a rather overpriced morass into actual economic facism…

And then there’s mass migration. Leftists like Bernie used to be against it, for the very solid reason that math, and economics, and continually dumping endless endless bottomless competition into an already underpaid labor market is a boon to owners and leaves the ole proletariat under a continual attack on our lives and wages. I am completely confused as to why

But you see, the French elite wants to look just as rich and generous as the German elite, etc., so they keep giving away your jobs, housing, and money.

Migrants are a LUXURY PRODUCT for the elite of each country to spit-shine and show off… at your expense. They don’t care about you, or the migrants, any more than they would care about the feelings of their Chanel purse. They want to show off the riches of the country they’re running into the ground.

Hang on. That’s, uh, the Democrats? That’s a “left-wing” position in America, is that what you’re telling me? Pardoning pharma execs and mass murderers; leaving hurricane victims to fend for themselves because they are the Otherpublican; creating a helot class of scabs to undermine working-class wages. Come on, that’s not what the left SAYS they’re about Are we entirely sure it’s our left wing that’s unhealthy?

Let’s see, what’s the “far-right” Trump administation up to over here…

OK, we got a little bit of Reaganite deregulation; I felt a bit dizzy when they said they wanted to ban the FDA, like I was not sure whether I was winning or losing a game of chess when my opponent furiously punched me one in the face. Greenland thing seems a little weird. But also we’re fighting for free speech, which, when I was a kid, was a left-wing issue. It was the Republicans who wanted to tell you what to do and say.

The Trump administration seems much more concerned about chemicals in food and whatnot, which is perversely pushing the young left to oppose what had been a core activism for the little shavers: greenish food purity, Upton Sinclair and all that. (Most older people, of whatever stripe, seem either bitter or defeated, drowned in the relentless tide of stupid. Well, THAT’S great.)

And when Trump handed a bunch of government money to Pfizer, it was because there was an international health crisis the likes of which the planet had never seen. It wasn’t for… whatever fucking shadowy reasons whomever is driving Biden has, none of which can possibly be good. Why would you extend indemnity long after the crisis is gone?

How much fucking kickback money does this piece of shit think he can spend before he croaks?

So I was wrong when I thought we lack a healthy left wing in this country. In a certain very fuckin’ real sense, the right has become left, and the left has become right, so no wonder the combatants are all confused.

I mean, look at me: The alexithymia is severe enough that I don’t really know what my orientation is; I just don’t like whichever one is currently trying the hardest to shove a great big ungreased acorn squash into my rectum. But I loosely identifiied with the left in the 20th century, till you animals got so fuckin’ weird and I became dissident whatever.

There are still rightists and the MAGA-aligned who are just plain old conservatives, but a lot of them are still far more open to the Other than these leftist-rightists, because they’re more mentally healthy and less confused. They know who they are, what their perspective is, and where they align.

The leftist-rightists, on the other hand, are infamously… well, you can hear them, on any form of media, screeching away. Too much cognitive dissonance isn’t good for you, and telling yourself that you’re “for the oppressed” while writing a check straight to Oprah is bound to make you insane. People with a biological drive to look for new solutions for the future are forced to defend politicians who give pardons to Pfizer, because that’s their team. (I wish the NFL would come back in fashion. It was so much less noxious as an outlet. Politics should be left to people who only care about it intellectually.)

Or maybe the scientists in this new field of political biology are all full of boogers, who knows? I know that if they’re wrong, it still might be a useful metaphor for getting people to shut up, calm down, and see other people as human.

Then again, is that really a compliment?

Maybe try seeing them as aspiring cats, instead.

At any rate, I’m not sure whether we have a healthy left calling itself a right and then some weirdos calling themselves leftists, or whether the left has indeed gone full fasho. If we’re really lucky, it all might average out, and off we’ll go, into the wild blue yonder.

Then again we could crash in the sea right off the runway. I don’t know what the hell most people mean when they say “left” and “right” anyway, and I am beginning to suspect they do that on purpose. I’m a novelist, not Nostradamus. I’m just admitting I was wrong.