Gossiping Our Way to a War

So we can’t have a civilised conversation about politics anymore? Maybe it’s because we’re casually misusing political discussion.

At the risk of entering the kerfuffle with all of the alphabet generations, I can’t help but notice that people who are currently middle-aged—which means practically everyone except the zoomers and the people who rule us—have had to deal with time, age, and having friends in a singularly jacked way.

One of the strangest things that’s hard to see till something reminds you that you miss it, is that, before the tech Fukushima that upended the “best” years of our lives—are natural disasters still distinguishable from human ones? — no, I don’t think the government caused the eclipse, but more fully human-made disasters seem to disseminate a lot like a nuclear reactor explosion—

—we actually used to be a little more… humorous? tolerant? Aware of the limits of our knowledge…

…all, in part, because, for our early lives, we were ssssssstuck with people.

Ok, it was uncomfortable. (Which is not typically deadly, nor even traumatic.) You were stuck as a kid with the kids who grew up near you. As an adult, you went OUT to find friends.

Which has its ups and downs, but did you notice, when the Internet exploded, that people started—instead of building fabulously diverse new friend groups from all over the world—instead started refusing to associate with people who are unlike them?

I mean, sure, you have a gay friend to listen to your problems, a white friend to yell at, and a black friend to whom you try so hard not to condescend. But do you have a friend you disagree with? For all our tolerance, who really has friends who are different?

I mean, that would be stupid… only so many hours a day, and how are you going to get people to watch your political videos on YouTube if you don’t belong to a community? (Note: This is not nepotism or cronyism: those words are for when other people do it.) You should save your energy for more profitable friends.

Anyway, why talk to toxic people? You might get poison cooties!

When did people become uncomfortable socialising with people who disagree with them politically ? How weird and sad—it’s getting harder to remember, but… guys… politics?—this shit we discuss online all day and all night?—that’s only supposed to be a small part of life unless you’re a politician.

No, really. Even if you’re a journalist, you’re supposed to be LOOKING for truth, which is a continual process, not overconfidently broadcasting ideology.

I know how weird it is because it wasn’t always this way. You almost felt FOND of your friends for their differences. They keep you honest. Your jackass Republican friend, your crazy Objectivist coworker, your loopy liberal niece, awwww but she’s a good kid. You had to be able to argue if you wanted to talk politics, not merely shout.

Now people need to feel validation or else they feel dislike. How truly awful.

Ugh, don’t talk to that commie, that right winger, those dangerous freaks.

I have noticed with distaste that politics have become a sort of national and international casual source of daily gossip.

People like to gossip, as bad as it sounds. Before the coffee kicks in, clearing out their carburetor before buckling down to work. We all need a warm-up. Something we all know about, that’s more or less changed overnight, to joke about in the morning.

Maybe old school gossip was silly, but at least the damage it did was locally contained.

In the new era, you wake up each day, and instead of the water cooler or the cafe—or even AT the cafe; they’re so silent now—you hit them social networks hard, those socials in the morning, where we used to get Jeeves, ‘cause you can tell yourself it’s kind of work (and for those of us who used to get to work on our books or articles all day, it, alas, is).

But few of the people you talk to online know each other. So aside from celebs, which make us feel so shallow, we turn to what we think is intellectual gossip instead. Cause we’re so smart now, regular gossip won’t do! We need a different subject for our daily gossip; one that everyone knows about. But flattering, flattering, important-person things. Do you know how many followers I have, I ain’t a hater

For one moment I let myself fantasise that artists and scientists might be the subjects of our gossip; no. Well, they can be, but they generally have to get caught up in, or violently launch themselves at, a political cause or scandal.

It seems so innocent, when fighting about Fani and talking about Trump as topics of uninformed, casual, clap-back conversation get you goodies, money, attention, and I have to admit, this is a bad example because that whole scandal is so funny, I can barely think about it.

Look at any recent dumb argument you’ve had with a dumb-dumb monster.

Are you PROUD of that shit? Were you learning something, or were you beating the other team? Did you feel curiosity, or the squalid scrape of political pique? How many people fudged the data? Lied? Bullshat? Kicked the table over?

We disgust me.

And it’s not imaginary, even if you think the only real-world consequences are the vague « harms » you attribute to your enemy’s vocabulary… no, it’s everyone. It’s the way we abuse delicate subjects as pissing contests.

Worst of all is the idea that everyone should have an opinion on anything. I have no idea how climate change works, but I’m supposed to have an opinion about it so I can show my team membership. If I don’t have time to research it, too bad; the dark urine of my opinion will be poured in there with experts, and off we go to hell.

Things that can result in wars should not be abused as social lubricant.

If you don’t know what you’re talking about, DON’T TALK ABOUT IT, at the very least. I can’t stop you, but mmmm all those violent fantasies you have about your enemies?

I probably have to express the shame you both should feel.

Because there’s not much left of most of you.

I feel so much disgust at our behavior, it’s hard to remember that it comes from grief.